(fiscal) greetings 2009

Posted 6 December 2009 by

  1. OK. One of these is a lie.

  2. Read my first graphic novel in less than 20 hours

  3. Was naked in a Japanese airport

  4. Co-produced a remote Brain Tumor removal strategy from Asia

  5. Voice was heard all over the Philippine air waves

  6. Fished a fly out of my ear

  7. Hosted an episode of True Beauty on ABC

  8. Freaked out about Freaky Fridaying my facebook (Thanks, Becki)

  9. Thought better of profusely thanking a security guard for taking my PayPal debit card

  10. Had 5 VO auditions while my Network TV primetime premiere aired

  11. Took 5 months before I realized I may have gotten a quintet fired

  12. Fully designed and built 2 working websites, had a primetime network premiere, Studio feature film audition, scheduled 2 VO bookings, 12 home- and 1 in-studio auditions, rebuilt a computer, crashed a printer, missed 2 appointments, rescheduled 3, and read 15 pages of a script in front of an audience. Plus sent 225 emails and made/received over 94 phone calls in one week

  13. Showered during an earthquake

  14. Rode in 3 cars into 4 cities in 2 hours

  15. Had a pork belly in Beverly Hills for less than the cost of a McDonald’s Big Mac

  16. Stepped down the tallest self-supporting steel structure in the world with my 4 year old niece

  17. Grilled a marinara steak after a big earning day

  18. Almost killed my brother with laughter

  19. Cried at hearing the Kodo drums again

  20. Heard Edward Albee’s Q&A live

  21. Voiced a killer in Fangoria’s DVD of the month

  22. Slept in 5 beds in 2 area codes within one week

  23. Said hi to Nick Harcourt

  24. Saw Joan Baez make fun of Dylan

  25. Crashed for 5 days doing nothing

  26. Spent thousands of minutes and dollars getting my accounts in order and upkeep

  27. Was in a film critically favored over Beverly Hills Chihuahua

  28. Brought in for a network series pilot thanks to a casting director’s 7 year long memory

  29. Sat in a George Washington chair the same day I saw my friend in the LA Opera

  30. Asked for parking validation and got chocolate and bacon

  31. Serenaded alongside Frank Gehry by the elegance and allure of a Portuguese singer

  32. Was specifically requested by the Geffen Theatre to do a radio spot

  33. Walked to and from a feature film audition in Santa Monica; and on the way back, walked along the Pacific

  34. May have influenced the design of Denny’s menu as of October 2009.

  35. Smurfed a Kramer

  36. Talked to the other end of an actual payphone

  37. Told a director / writer / producer that he should watch the use of the F-word because my mom and her friends don’t think it’s necessary.

  38. Deliberately threw out all but 6 items of my clothing

  39. For the “1 hour power-off” event, had 1 hour by candlelight, but only by a technicality

  40. Traded a CFL for a lint roller

  41. Making a crapload on a national laxative commercial

  42. Was told a friend got paid to be a mint chocolate chip ice cream scoop (she was promoted from marshmallow to mint chocolate chip) two days before being a rocky road and raspberry cheesecake.

  43. Within the year, hung out with an FBI agent, former political bodyguard, and special forces veteran. Of course I can’t say who they were.

  44. Worked with Guinea Pig spies

  45. Used the expression “I could give an e coli” in an email.

  46. Voice-tagged a national network geeky rock star spot for Intel

  47. Had a friend see “Exit Speed” not knowing it was me in the opening

  48. Voiced Nestle’s Wonka voice mail system (800) 358-1971

  49. After missing an audition for it, found out while lunching with Dee Dee McCall that I still would voice a car company’s TV ad campaign, thanks to both a decade long friendship, and my father’s brother’s wife’s sister’s son. This was the week they went bankrupt.

  50. At my financial worst, I went to see a french ballet.

  51. Made a dozen phone calls and generated 2100 bucks

  52. I passed on an agent’s representation offer

  53. Guest taught at UCLA

  54. Off-roading dead end at a trough, with a creek about a car-length wide. Driver stopped at the crest and turns to me and says “Normally, we just barrel through something like this.” Before I could respond he shoves the gearstick into “fast” and plows through the creek, parting it like the red sea. Gravity had comedic timing dousing us with mudwater somewhere between 2 and 5 seconds later. I couldn’t have been happier.

  55. Met with Jane Jetson, Robocop, Red Fraggle, Donald Duck, Mrs. Landingham. and Porky Pig.

  56. Booked on a contraction (thanks Melissa)

  57. Slept under a cowhide.

  58. Told a dog “my elbow is not your tissue.” The dog then knocked over two remotes from the coffee table.

  59. Worked an R&B Concert presented by Della Reese

  60. Made 4 car-filled charity donations from my home

  61. Built a working home recording studio space

  62. Unsubscribed to over 300 email subscriptions

  63. Made Dr. Quinn cry on the big screen

  64. Bought a video recording iPhone for $13.66

  65. Rode in a buggy up a mountain

  66. Twittered into an audition for a feature film

  67. Car was in hollywood, moving van in Venice, french dinner in Culver City. shipping piano from Topenga

  68. Shipped an iphone to Turkey

  69. Voice beat out Harry Potter opening weekend

  70. Sipped a scotch in a Beverly Hills cabana

  71. Got lost for 7 hours in a trail-less area of Topanga canyon. And didn’t manage expectations

  72. Bought chocolate from monestary nuns

  73. Rode in a Prius, buggy, Jeep, and stick shift within 40 minutes

  74. Made an ugly yet delicious pizza

  75. Brought 8 women into the recording booth with wine and special guests

  76. Hired an incredibly talented blind woman I never met before for vo

  77. Table read for Eastwick a 5 times

  78. Published my first short story from the last sentence to the first

  79. Met Donald at Goofy’s party

  80. Voice of God-ed for Cedar’s Board of Directors Gala

  81. Was a Janet Jackson flash mob participant

  82. Shoveled a driveway snow in California

  83. Learned some valuable lessons